Gratitude is a Choice
“As individuals and as a nation, we now suffer from social narcissism…We have fallen in love with our own image, with images of our making, which turn out to be images of ourselves” says Daniel J. Boorstin. I have been preaching a series in our church called “Hindrances to Gratitude” and one of the qualities that make us incapable of living a life of gratitude is ‘self-centered living’. Having a healthy self-worth and identity in God is essential and it is our responsibility to take care of our physical, emotional and spiritual needs. However, as a society we have often gone to the extreme of justifying, magnifying and glorifying lifestyles that are obsessed with SELF.
In Greek mythology, a handsome young man named Narcissus thought that none of his female friends were worthy of his great beauty, he fell in love with his own reflection or image in the water. He loved looking at his own beauty so much so that he actually withered away and died staring at his own reflection. The word Narcissism actually was derived from this Greek myth and is often referred to people who are obsessed with one’s self. Narcissism or Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. It is not just a psychological problem, but it is a deep spiritual problem rooted in our sinful nature.
Having a healthy self-worth and identity in God is essential and it is our responsibility to take care of our physical, emotional and spiritual needs. However, as a society we have often gone to the extreme of justifying, magnifying and glorifying lifestyles that are obsessed with SELF.
I believe Narcissism is probably the greatest hindrance to gratitude. I don’t think anybody considers himself/herself a narcissist, but the reality is that by default (thanks to our fallen nature) we tend to be selfish beings always looking for our own good. If unchecked, many of us who think we are simply doing our best for ourselves and our families could slowly slip into a pattern or habit where we are pre-occupied with our own gratifications and ambitions. One of the reasons why many of us find it difficult to express gratitude is that we have developed a false sense of entitlement for our own lives. I don’t know where we got this idea or why we think we deserve all we desire, but our obsession with our ambitions together with our false sense of entitlement blind us from the many wonderful things in life. Instead of being thankful for what we already have in life by God’s grace, we focus on what we don’t have and become bitter.
I don’t know where we got this idea or why we think we deserve all we desire, but our obsession with our ambitions together with our false sense of entitlement blind us from the many wonderful things in life.
Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, in his book Words of Gratitude writes “Narcissism is characterized by a sense of excessive self-importance, arrogance, vanity and need for admiration and entitlement. People who exhibit these traits believe they are entitled to special rights and privileges, whether earned of not…Narcissistic personalities tend to be demanding and selfish. They possess an exaggerated sense of deserving and expect special favors without assuming reciprocal responsibilities; in fact, they will express surprise and anger when others do not do what they want. The sense of entitlement combined with a lack of sensitivity to the needs of others results in selfish behavior on their part. Simply stated, if one is entitled to everything, then one is thankful for nothing.”
If you have your Bibles read Daniel Chapter three where we read about King Nebuchadnezzar who was so obsessed with his success and self that he made an image of Gold and asked all the people to worship the image. He was so blinded by his own self that he believed he replaced God and is now the center of the world. The problem with such obsession is that we can’t see the big picture; we deceive ourselves with lies that will destroy us eventually. The apostle Paul says in 2 Timothy 3: 1-5 “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves…lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God…” If we are unable to express gratitude, it is not because we are not blessed, but because we have chosen to be pre-occupied with our ambitions. Gratitude is a conscious choice to focus on the positive things, or blessings in life rather than focusing on the ‘hole of the donut’.
G. K. Chesterton said, “The test of all happiness is gratitude.” Being grateful not just when good things occur, but even when life is difficult and challenging is the mark of a true Christian. The apostle Paul was rejoicing even when he was in chains in a prison, it was not his circumstances that made him a grateful person; it was his attitude and choice to see the positive side even among the most negative circumstances. Don’t wait for things to be perfect to be grateful, in fact if we consciously cultivate a habit of being grateful for the blessings in life, very soon we will realize that the donut is much bigger than the hole of the donut. Brother David Steindl-Rast says “Gratitude is…more than a feeling, a virtue, or an experience; gratitude emerges as an attitude we can freely choose in order to create a better life for ourselves and for others,” Remember the words of this hymn “Count your blessings, name them one by one, Count your blessings, see what God has done, Count your blessings name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.”
Don’t wait for things to be perfect to be grateful, in fact if we consciously cultivate a habit of being grateful for the blessings in life, very soon we will realize that the donut is much bigger than the hole of the donut.
– – Author: Rev. Francis Burgula – –
